People with low GPAs:
The first topic I felt worthy of bringing up is the subject of students with low GPAs. This, for starters, completely eludes me. Let's be honest with ourselves--Maryland is an on-par university. Sure, it has its set of geniuses and leaders, but let's face it--the average student has a much better calling!
This could be you!!! :D
If you have less than a 3.0 GPA, you should probably consider jumping out the closest window, and if you're lucky, all that air that fills up your skull might be enough to cushion the fall! Now you might be thinking, "Hey, Steven, maybe your standards are too high! Some students have to work full time to support themselves and can't spend all the time they need to for studying." Aside from the issues of financial aid and scholarships that this brings up, I would simply respond, "Fuck you! Maybe you should have thought about that and picked your school accordingly." In my opinion, which is the right one, maybe the person should have just gone to a low-tier school and performed well there and payed much less. If I was a business owner, I would take a 4.0 shit-tier university student over someone who got <3.0 GPA at Maryland.
Who are you trying to kid? If you can't achieve a C minimum in all of your classes, you should take my advice earlier and find the closest window. Of course I kid about the window--I'm not a fan of suicide. You should instead start practicing memorization, because I prefer my burger order to be remembered correctly.
And then--to top it all off--you get these assholes complaining that their social lives / significant others were the reason that their grades faltered. Really? REALLY? You're going to blame your grades on a social reason. Goodness fuckin' gracious! I know triples majors with respectable majors who somehow get near perfect GPAs and still have time to socialize, so don't even fucking try to blame your social life. Even I manage to keep a near perfect GPA with the hailstorm of medical issues that plague me and my days. "B-but, she broke up with me!". Wow... man the hell up! Unless she physically takes your brain and balls, you don't have an excuse here. I sincerely hope your hundred party buddies will get you a job after college.
Also, I probably should have started with this point, but the majority of classes at Maryland are easy ... regardless of major. Anyone should be able to poop out C's without showing up to classes. You really got to be telling yourself, "hmmm, what can I do to make sure I fail...?".
People undeserving of Scholarships:
Who are you trying to kid? If you can't achieve a C minimum in all of your classes, you should take my advice earlier and find the closest window. Of course I kid about the window--I'm not a fan of suicide. You should instead start practicing memorization, because I prefer my burger order to be remembered correctly.
You should aim for this!
And then--to top it all off--you get these assholes complaining that their social lives / significant others were the reason that their grades faltered. Really? REALLY? You're going to blame your grades on a social reason. Goodness fuckin' gracious! I know triples majors with respectable majors who somehow get near perfect GPAs and still have time to socialize, so don't even fucking try to blame your social life. Even I manage to keep a near perfect GPA with the hailstorm of medical issues that plague me and my days. "B-but, she broke up with me!". Wow... man the hell up! Unless she physically takes your brain and balls, you don't have an excuse here. I sincerely hope your hundred party buddies will get you a job after college.
Can anyone here look over my resume?
Also, I probably should have started with this point, but the majority of classes at Maryland are easy ... regardless of major. Anyone should be able to poop out C's without showing up to classes. You really got to be telling yourself, "hmmm, what can I do to make sure I fail...?".
People undeserving of Scholarships:
